I have many roles that I play such as mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, cousin, aunt, cook, maid and teacher. However, I think I fall short of being a good mother and wife. Sometimes I forget the lines and I vere of script and use verbage and action that are not the lines of a mother or wife. I keep weaving and threading a bigger mess of the act by not focusing on what character I play and that it is a character that is forever. I don't even get a 10-30 minute inmersion. However, the other day I was reading this talk named "Agency and Love in Marriage" that was given by Elder Lynn Robbins. I loved the talk and am hoping to thread some of this Christlike Attributes into my marriage and home. I have posted the list below.
Christlike Attribute: “Suffereth long” (1 Cor. 13:4)
The Lord's Way• Is patient and tolerant, does not criticize. Recognizes that spouse is progressing, is patient with imperfections.
The Wrong Way• Is intolerant, ill-tempered, critical, cranky. • Despite staying together, has no close relationship.
The Wrong Way• Is impatient, complains, gives the silent treatment.
Christlike Attribute: “Is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4)
The Lord's Way• Is nice, thoughtful, interested in others. • Is a Good Samaritan, comforts, is merciful. • Can we “fall out of” kindness?
The Wrong Way• Is mean, miserly, cruel, inconsiderate, unmerciful. • Has a scowling countenance.
The Wrong Way• Is indifferent, remote, unconcerned, uninterested, unresponsive.
Christlike Attributes: “Envieth not” (1 Cor. 13:4)
The Lord's Way• Is content, grateful for blessings. • Rejoices in another’s gifts, talents, success. • Is generous and offers help to those in need. • Lives frugally. • Knows the difference between needs and wants, avoids unnecessary debt.
The Wrong Way• Is resentful, jealous, greedy, covetous. • Fails to pay an honest tithe. • Is selfish and withholds help (see Morm. 8:39; Mosiah 4:22, 24–25). • Has a “my,” not “our,” money mentality. • Incurs excessive debt. • Has a spirit of speculation.
The Wrong Way• Is ungrateful. • Is a partial tithe-payer. • Is vain—sets heart on costly apparel, etc. • Lives beyond income. • Allows interest on credit cards to accumulate. • Does not try to save food or money for future needs.
Christlike Attribute: “Is not puffed up” (1 Cor. 13:4)
The Lord's Way• Is humble, meek, teachable. • Does not speak vainly or seek attention. • Happily serves wherever called. • Lifts, praises, builds others up. • Seeks the will of God.
The Wrong Way• Is proud, eager for attention, self-centered, pompous, boastful. • Murmurs against leaders. • Is condescending with spouse or “holier than thou.” • Is offended when advice is given.
The Wrong Way• Does not praise or give due credit to others. • Aspires to positions. • Is a know-it-all, is unteachable. • Puffed up because of knowledge, talents, wealth (see 2 Ne. 9:42).
Christlike Attribute: “Doth not behave itself unseemly” (1 Cor. 13:5)
The Lord's Way• Is courteous, well mannered, tactful, tasteful, reverent, respectful, mindful of others. • Is clean, neat, orderly.
The Wrong Way• Is discourteous, crude, disrespectful, indecent, improper, irreverent. • Enjoys dirty jokes. • Is boisterous: loud laughter. • Leaves a place worse than it was found.
The Wrong Way• Doesn’t say “please” or “thank you.” • Has forgotten everyday courtesies. • Is disorderly and unkempt.
Christlike Attribute: “Seeketh not her own” (1 Cor. 13:5)
The Lord's Way• Is tender-hearted, sensitive, compassionate, merciful, generous. • Seeks unity, kneels together in prayer, listens with empathy, avoids contention. • Thinks “we” and “ours.” • Is approachable. • Seeks to please God.
The Wrong Way• Is demanding, controlling, selfish, manipulative, blaming. • Lacks unity, is contentious. • Thinks “I” and “mine.” • Seldom listens, is aloof. • Seeks self-gratification, is self-indulgent. • Seeks the praise of men.
The Wrong Way• Doesn’t say “I’m sorry.” • Is reluctant to render help (as with household chores). • Is guilty of self-pity and advertises it. • Is uncaring.
Christlike Attribute “Is not easily provoked” (1 Cor. 13:5)
The Lord's Way• Is forgiving, patient, calm, gentle, respectful. • Understands that anger is a decision and can be controlled. • Is a peacemaker (see 3 Ne. 12:9).
The Wrong Way• Is irritable, spiteful, vengeful. • Is easily angered, often hostile and abusive. • Is defensive, responds with disgust or contempt. • Swears, has a bad temper.
The Wrong Way• Argues over every silly little thing, is not open minded. • Disciplines in anger. • Does not bridle passions (see Alma 38:12).
Christlike Attributes: “Thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 13:5)
The Lord's Way• Is nonjudgmental, respectful, helpful, pure, obedient. • Has “no more disposition to do evil” (Mosiah 5:2). • Is modest in dress, thought, speech. • Virtue garnishes thoughts unceasingly.
The Wrong Way• Is cruel, conniving, deceitful, dishonest. • Indulges in pornography and inappropriate music. • Dresses immodestly. • Is an inventor of “evil things”(Rom. 1:30).
The Wrong Way• Is judgmental, prejudiced, faultfinding. • Bears grudges, gossips. • Participates in jokes about intimate or sacred things. • Seeks improper intimacy with spouse. • Tolerates evil influences.
Christlike Attribute: “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth” (1 Cor. 13:6)
The Lord's Way• Stays close to the Spirit through regular scripture study, prayer, obedience. • Has discovered that truth leads to joy and happiness.
The Wrong Way• Has an “eat, drink, and be merry” mentality. • Is indulgent, unfaithful, disobedient. • Is addicted to vices. • Justifies self, makes excuses.
The Wrong Way• Is light-minded. • Is casual with prayers. • Is not diligent about gospel teaching or scripture reading in the home.
Christlike Attribute: “Beareth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
The Lord's Way• Has moral courage, is bold in truth. • Turns the other cheek, is calm. (This does not mean that abuse victims should silently bear cruelty, or follow a spouse disobedient to God.)
The Wrong Way• Is insulting, defensive, irritable, touchy, grouchy, moody. • Is a coward. • Is ashamed of righteousness.
The Wrong Way• Is ungrateful. • Yields to peer pressure in compromising situations. • Is apathetic. • Is weary in well-doing.
Christlike Attributes: “Believeth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
The Lord's Way• Clearly sees the eternal potential of spouse and forever families. • Sees others as children of God. • Holds fast to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The Wrong Way• Doubts spouse’s potential, is critical and cynical. • Is unfriendly to spouse. • Is condescending, intolerant. • Has let go of the iron rod, is not active in the Church.
The Wrong Way• Is distanced, remote, inattentive, insensitive. • Is a hypocrite, lives a lie. • Goes to church, but wishes to be elsewhere.
Christlike Attribute: “Hopeth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
The Lord's Way• Is an optimist. • Looks for the best. • Praises, builds up, expresses affection. • Continues courting spouse.
The Wrong Way• Is a pessimist. • Is a nagger. • Is a faultfinder. • Is unrepentant, in denial.
The Wrong Way• Is a fatalist. • Is bored. • Is neglectful. • Doesn’t feel worthy to pray for forgiveness.
Christlike Attribute: “Endureth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
The Lord's Way• Doesn’t complain or murmur. • Is responsible and gladly accepts callings. • Sees growth in adversity. • Has a desire to learn and progress. • Is steadfast, knows life is a test.
The Wrong Way• Is always complaining, murmuring. • Shirks or avoids responsibility. • Can’t keep a job.
The Wrong Way• Is lukewarm or gives half-hearted effort. • Is lazy or spends too much time on hobbies, TV, etc. • Is afflicted with self-pity.
Christlike Attribute: “Charity never faileth” (1 Cor. 13:8)
The Lord's Way• Loves as Christ loves us. • Is supportive.
The Wrong Way• “Falls out of love.” • Flirts with individuals other than spouse. • Is an adulterer. • Loves conditionally, based on spouse being healthy, successful, slender, maintaining good looks.
The Wrong Way• Has wandering eyes. • Views spouse more as a burden than a blessing. • Dreams or fantasizes about individuals other than spouse.
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